Insanity
by EpicReads
Summary: [One-Shot] Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Its then that he realizes how meaningless it all is. The fighting. The wars. His struggle for his sanity, if he was even sane to begin with that is. Being a supposed hero. A half-blood never wins, after all.


**Insanity**

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus. All rights and the original concept goes to Rick Riordan.

Summary: Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Its then that he realizes how meaningless it all is. The fighting. The wars. His struggle for his sanity, if he was even sane to begin with that is. Being a supposed hero. A half-blood never wins, all they can do is survive and hope they did enough good to not get sent to the Fields of Punishment. Or Tartarus. [One-Shot]

.O.0.O.

He's tired. So, so very tired of it all.

But can you blame him? Ever since he was 12 years-old he has been fighting mythological creatures that hunt him for the sheer pleasure of tasting his flesh or for some type of revenge. Surviving the cruel mortal world that rejects him because of his disabilities. Enduring the punishment of godly beings. Leading legions of teenagers to their deaths for their gods and, more importantly, their _parents_. At first he just brushed it off, he figured it was all part of being what he was.

A hero. A leader. A half-blood. A demigod. A half-bred. A mistake.

Take your pick, because he accepts all those and more. He embraces it even. After all, it's all part of being a half-blood, right? That's what his father told him. Annabeth also said the same thing. His mentor, Chiron, even agreed.

Living in the modern world, being chased by ancient monsters, slaying said ancient monsters, pleasing your parent. Just… _surviving_.

His life is a horrible experience to go through.

Really, what did he expect from being him? Sunshine and rainbows? Fairies and pixies? Unicorns?

(Okay, that last one is completely possible, but that's beside the point)

It really doesn't matter how many monsters he sends back to Tartarus, he realizes. They'll just reform in time. But he? No. He's mortal. He'll die sooner or later, and then another generation of half-bloods will take on the burden. All he can do for the future child soldiers- ahem, half-bloods would be to lessen the burden. If only a little.

War is part of his life. He even has a god for it, even if he doesn't like said god very much. And vise-versa, the war god doesn't like him very much either.

Ah, how could he forget? Making enemies is also part of being a half-blood.

He dances on the fine line between life and death. It's nothing new, really. Just by _living_ he tempts fate to screw his day over with a monster attacking him, or a god asking (_demanding_) him to do something for them, or maybe even the rude mortals who just _love_ to put him down. But he takes in in stride. He doesn't complain, he doesn't curse the Fates or his gods (_even though he should)_ and while he might be resentful, he doesn't shy away from it. He continues forward, forging a path onwards while also leaving that very same trail ablaze with stories for his mentor, his friends, his family, and many others to tell to the next generation of heroes. So that they have someone to look up to. Someone to strive to be like.

Not like that rapist Orion

Not like that deceiving Jason

Not like that vain Bellerophon

Not like that womanizer Theseus

Not like that complete asshole Hercules

But a hero who could do no wrong.

At least, that's what he hopes he's doing. He can't be 100% certain that he is doing everything right, for he is sure he has made mistakes in his… _career_ as a hero. He knows he could have saved the lives of others. He knows that the world (both worlds, actually) would have been better off without him there to mess everything up by simply _existing_.

But he can't leave. Not yet, at least.

He has people to protect. To fight for. To reassure that even in the hopelessness that is the life of a hero, there is a happy ending for everyone. He has to keep those smiles on everyone's faces.

Even at the cost of his own.

.O.0.O.

It is later, after the Second Titan War and after hearing the new Great Prophecy that Rachel, who happens to be the new host of the Oracle of Delphi, spouts out does he realize what life he is bound by. Just after the war ends,_ just after_ it ends that not even half a day has passed, does a new prophecy rear its ugly head at him. And he feels it. It's like the Fates are laughing at him. Like something or someone was personally looking towards his direction for entertainment.

_Ha! You didn't really think you were done for, did you? You thought that you live a happily ever after with no more pain and suffering? As if! Just you wait, you'll rise your blade again and see more of your supposed friends die._

And what's more, Apollo had the audacity to make a joke out of it! Right after a war that cost the lives of innocent children who were defending HIS home, he acts like its and everyday occurrence. Speaking so casually about it that it makes him sick to the stomach.

_"Maybe," I said, "but it didn't sound so good."_  
_"No,_" _said Apollo cheerfully.__ "It certainly didn't. She's going to make a wonderful Oracle!"_

He had realized then how careless the gods really were when it came to the lives of half-bloods. How hopeless it was. The insanity that he so blindly lived by.

It's an endless battle, one that he is losing. On one hand, the battlefield he fights is against the everyday life that comes with being Perseus Jackson, Savoir of Olympus and son of Poseidon. On the other hand, the other battlefield comes with being Percy Jackson the teenage boy.

Perseus Jackson fights against the mythological world. Trying to save everyone, even if the cost is his own life. Trying so desperately to not fall off the pedestal he was forced into and keep the smiles of his comrades in place. Trying not to let the sacrifices that the dead made go in vain.

Percy Jackson fights himself. Not allowing himself to appear weak and not allowing others to know what he really thinks, even when he wants to scream to the whole world that he's not as great as everyone seems to make him to be. He doesn't allow himself to realize how hopeless he really is his life. Even when he already knows it himself, he decides to illusion himself into believing he does not believe it.

But no matter how much both of these two _heroes_ fight, they are fighting a losing battle.

They are temporary. They will eventually grow old, wither away, and die. Their feats will become legends and myths. And they might not even get a happy ending, despite their mother's choice of name.

Monsters don't die. They can be killed, yes. But they will eventually reform and hunt you all over again. _They_ are everlasting while the_ heroes_ are replaceable.

But it's alright now! The Titans are defeated and the gods are claiming all their children, while also respecting and acknowledging the minor gods and their children. Everything is as it should be! He was even lucky enough to get a girlfriend. Imagine that! Percy Jackson actually got a lucky break! Sure, the threat of a new Great Prophecy loomed over his head and added to his list of worries, but he feels that, even when Annabeth and Apollo reassured him he wouldn't have to worry about the prophecy and even when he knows he's going to play a part of the prophecy, he would have some time to enjoy his somewhat peaceful teenage life as a half-blood.

Except he's wrong.

He should have expected it, really. He should have seen this coming a mile away and when he later looks back at this small episode of his short, miserable life he actually laughed himself to tears at how _hopeful_ he was to believe that he would have time for some R&R.

How pitiful he actually is, he realizes

He was right, and he knows it. He _is_ part of the new prophecy. The Prophecy of Seven. And not just that, six others carry the burden of being the so called Heroes of Olympus. He nearly laughed himself to death when he heard that one. Heroes or sacrifices? Because somehow, no matter how many people die it seems the world will never be at peace. And they, the so called _heroes_ are always the ones to give something up.

It was really horrible. The saviors always gave something up. And while they were showered with all the thanks, looks of appreciation, and the occasional acknowledgement of their godly parents, it was never what they actually wanted.

(Okay the recognition of their divine parent is something that they did want, but all half-bloods feel that way all the time. So it doesn't really count considering all the dream visits they get while the rest had siblings (except for Percy that is) that didn't receive any recognition at all except for the claiming that Perseus Jackson made them do in accordance to the oath the gods themselves took)

But when he looked at the other heroes, he knew what he had to do. He would take the burden of what was to come. He would do it gladly, if only to keep the smile of the other six's faces for a while longer.

The reason was simple. They were inexperienced! Leo and Piper had only been on one quest, Hazel and Frank were also in the same boat as the others. Jason did have experience, but he also just got in a relationship with Piper, and Percy knew how it felt when you find that one person you feel like you can trust and you are plunged into a life threatening situation with the constant fear that any day that one person could die and you wouldn't be able to stop it. And Annabeth… was Annabeth. She had already been through so much. He couldn't accept the fact that she had to go to war again. But there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. He had realized a long time ago that warfare would forever be engraved into their lives. Heck, they got to know each other through a war in the making and countless battles.

It was sad, he realized.

He realized it finally. The world he lived in was not a pretty one. People die. Half-bloods die. Monsters reform. And the gods sit in their thrones or lounge in their palaces while their offspring fight in their names.

** Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results**

He realizes the insanity that he lives and the notion that he himself might just be a bit insane himself, and accepts it. Because really, what else can he do?

.O.0.O.

**Authors Note:** **By the way, is anyone excited about the new Lucy movie coming in August? I sure am! On a side note, I don't know what brought this up to be honest, and I'm not really satisfied with this. But I can't do anything about it now. I just hope some people actually liked this, if only a little! And as always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!**


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